3 Ways You Are Doing Goals Wrong

Goals get a bad rap sometimes.

They bring up thoughts of lost New Year's resolutions.

Failed diets.

Unfinished projects.

Unaccomplished vision board items.

I don't want to shock you, but the goal is not the problem.

There is nothing wrong with your goals.

And there is nothing wrong with you.

But, there are 3 things that could be going wrong and one thing that is definitely going wrong.

#1 You think setting and achieving goals should feel good.

It doesn't.

It feels downright sickening sometimes.

And for those of my people pleasers out there- throw in guilt and shame.

Fear of humiliation.

The idea feels amazing.

The accomplishment even better.

The getting there often does not.

And the bigger the goal, the worse it can feel.

The goal is not to feel good.

The goal is to deliberately achieve a desired end result.

Becoming more capable and accomplished in the process.

Becoming the version of you who sets and achieves goals.

So drop the expectation of feeling good and focus on feeling determined.

Sacrifice a little comfort now for feeling accomplishment later.

#2 You think deciding to set the goal should be enough.

#3 You think you just change your mind.

You do not. 

You give up. 

You may think "It's not big deal" or "It doesn't really matter."  

But you aren't just giving up on your goal.  

You are giving up on you.

There is no underlying problem that makes you give up. 

Don't go looking in your past for deep seeded evidence of why you give up. 

The truth is it is just easier to do so.  Giving up is easier every time.  See #1.

It is 100% your thoughts.

Our thoughts cause our feelings and our feelings drive our actions. 

Every time. 

So when your action is to give up. 

To quit. 

To "change your mind", it is because you are thinking some version of 

It's not worth it.

I can't do it.

I don't know how.

This is too hard.

It doesn't matter anyway.

No wonder you give up!

The best news ever is that you can change your thoughts.

You don't even have to change them, actually. 

It's even easier than that.

Just realize those BS thoughts don't do you any good and choose ones you prefer instead.

Eventually, with enough ignoring the old thoughts and believing the new thoughts; the old ones will stop showing up so much.

So how to believe new thoughts?

Take your BS thought and flip it.

For instance, "This is too hard" can change to "This is too easy".  

Then soften it until it is believable.  

This is too easy may become "It's possible it won't be that hard." 

then "This really isn't that hard."

then "Parts of this are really easy."

etc.

Find one you can believe and practice it, then uplevel taking action along the way to prove it true.

Until it's done.

Goals don't feel amazing.  They don't perform on their own.  They shouldn't be cast aside.

Goals don't do anything.  It is what you do and who you become in the process that matters.